*

Game Day.

2010-09-04T20:34:00.000-07:00

Summer, the two weeks that we had it here...is almost over. The schools start here in a few days, the leaves are starting to change, the nights are cool and crisp. Which also means College Football.

World Breastfeeding Week.

2010-08-05T17:26:00.000-07:00

Well the week is almost over. I wasn't sure if I was going to talk about my story or not. I'm a big fan of breastfeeding, but I'm not like an activist or anything. I will encourage women to do it, but I understand when a women decides that it's not for them.

The four months that Mister and I had a nursing relationship was wonderful. It was hard, it was amazing, it was painful, it was tiring, and it was the best. And I miss it with all my heart.

We started off rough. He was almost three weeks early and so he was slow to latch. He was just so tired all the time. I also had...unknowingly to me...inverted nipples. All of the nurses at the hospital..all but one...were wonderful. They helped me a lot. We ended up staying an extra day to make sure once he latched, that he was eating. When we got home though...it was a different story. Whatever I had done right in the hospital, wasn't working anymore. And my milk came in. I was engorged and in pain and I needed to feed him. He was four days old, and to be honest, I'm not sure if he had eaten much that day. Luckily he wasn't starving...it was mostly me who was freaking out. I wanted this to work so bad.

I was feeding him with a syringe and crying and A knelt in front of us and asked me when I wanted to stop trying. He didn't want to force me to stop...he knew I wanted this so bad. He just wanted to be on the same page as me so that if I said I'm done trying, then he could rush out and buy some formula and bottles. He then reminded me that we knew a lady that was a part of the La Leche League and was willing to come and help anyone if needed. I gave her a call, after a little prodding and she came over at 7 that night. I sat in the rocking chair, and showed her what I was doing. She said that everything I was trying was right. Then she sent A to the hospital for two "tools" and when he got back with them, and I used them....it worked. I never felt so much relief. Mister started to nurse. And we didn't stop.

He started to gain weight like a champ. He always wanted to eat, and I happily obliged. I wasn't confident with nursing in public, but if I found a comfortable seat, and a pillow, and a blanket I was fine. I knew that no matter who was holding him, if he got hungry...I was the one who got to hold him to feed him. It was selfish I know...but I loved it.

Then things started to go back downhill. I started to dry up on one side. I pumped after every time I nursed, drank a lot of water and almost always started on that side, and it still didn't work. One day, I just knew it was empty. That was that.

So I was down to one side. I would still try to pump on both sides and I would only get a couple of drops off of the bad side, and maybe, MAYBE 4 oz from the other. On a good day. I was trying to build up a stock because I knew I was going to be going back to work soon and that he was going to be at day care. I started taking Fenugreek to try to up my supply. More water...Everything and Anything. Once I went back to work it got harder. We had to start supplementing formula at work because I just wasn't pumping enough for him through out the day. So then at home, he would start out nursing and then still need a 4 oz bottle after I was empty. Then he got to where he didn't even want to nurse because he knew it was just easier to be fed the bottle. So Sunday May 9th...Mason nursed his last time. I cried. And cried. And cried.

I knew it would be ok. I knew he would be just as healthy and probably happier. I knew he would start to sleep longer at night. I knew Arick would be able to feed him more and easier. I knew it would be ok.

I also knew that I would give ANYTHING not to stop. Almost 3 months later...I still miss it. I still wish things had been different. I know now what I need to do different next time. I know that next time will be easier. And better. And longer.

birthdays.

2010-07-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

I got me a little package today.

I love mail. Just so you...whoever you are...knows. I love getting things that aren't bills or junk in the mail. Handwritten letters, cards...store bought or homemade...packages, money...etc. :)

The UPS guy parked in front of our neighbor...the church...so Arick thought it was something he was expecting. Instead, it was something that I wasn't expecting. :)

My seester sent me a birthday present. Or I guess I should say presentssss.

A pear towel, an apple towel, and the most ADORABLE half apron that you could ever imagine. She knows me toooooo well.

Come on!

Buttons on the pockets, rick-rack on the edge of the towels?!

A-frickin-dorable.

I love her.

I love the present.

Thanks. To the best sisser that I could ever ask for. Love ya!

Separation

2010-07-28T15:41:00.001-07:00

Mason has a new trick.

He starts out looking like this.

Mama is here, standing next to me, I can see her.

Then she leaves my line of vision.
Mind you, I haven't even left the room.

Then he looks like this.

Or this.

I say his name, he smiles.

Then cries.

I've been home with pink eye for the past three days and I have yet to get a thing done. I ran out with him to the store and he fell asleep in the carseat. That was at 1:30ish...it's now 3:45 and he is looking at me from the seat the he just woke up in.

I really just hope that this separation anxiety stuff doesn't get worse.

6 months

2010-07-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

Mason is 6 months old.
It is shocking to me how fast it is going. He is doing new things DAILY. Sometimes, when he wakes up, I think that he looks and acts older than when I put him down...even for naps.

New things that he is doing:

-Rolling both ways, all the time, and fast.
-Grabbing for toys
-Pulling his binky out and putting it back in.
-Eating Cereal
-Sleeping in his own room
-Has his two bottom teeth
-freezing and looking for dad whenever he talks (including Sunday Mornings at church, while Dad preaches)
-Laughing without getting the hiccups...this is not all the time, but it just recently started. :)

My heart is so full.

grasping at straws

2010-07-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing life all wrong. My relationship with God, my marriage, being a mom, my housework, my job...even the small things...like remembering to brush my teeth, or take out my contacts. There are days where all day I feel this way, then there are just pieces of days that feel like this. Last night was one.

My boy hasn't been a good sleeper. I think that it has a lot to do with a lot of things. I think that I have messed him up, but I also think that he just doesn't want to sleep. Especially in a different room than all the action. Sometimes I put him down when he's drowsy and he'll cry a little then go to sleep. Othertimes, when I have missed him all day, I'll hold him till he falls asleep then lay him down. Either option he'll sleep until 1 am-ish. Now because he is still in the same room as us, this is where things get tricky. I really don't want to disturb A's sleep. So I get up almost right away and try to soothe him without picking him up. Put his binky in, rub his back, adjust blankies, etc. Usually nothing works, so I'll pick him up and soothe him, then lay him back down. He sleeps for a few minutes, then wakes up again. Still not wanting to disturb A, I pick him up again. Little do I know, A has been awake the whole time. So my last ditch effort for all of us to get some sleep is for my boy to come to bed with us. He calms right down, and I get to go back to sleep. About a half hour later, A can't take it anymore, kisses us and goes into the guest room. I hate it.

I miss sleeping in the same room...same bed as my husband. I NEVER planned on being a cosleeper. It scared me. And as much as I love to snuggle with my babe, I am ready to have my bed back again. And my husband.

So last night, I decided it was time. He has been fighting sleep for the past couple of nights, so I said, "Say good night to Daddy, were going to bed." A kissed his little head and off we went.

I layed him down, gave him his binky, and sat on the floor. Thus proceeded some of the worst 20 minutes of my life. I let him cry. When he got too mad, I rubbed his back for a minute or two, put his binky in and sat back down. When he finally drifted off, I came back out to the living room and cried on A's shoulder. I've read the books. I've scoured the internet. I've talked to Dr's. and friends, and strangers. I'm still grasping at straws. I just don't know how to fix this.

When 1 am rolled around guess who woke up. A and I had already discussed this and decided that if he did wake up...which I wasn't sure if he would since he was exhausted...then I would put his binky in and let him cry. So after a few minutes, A kissed me and went to the guest room. I followed him to the bathroom and we stood there for a minute and listened. His cry was very quiet and it sounded like he was done. A still went to sleep in the guest room, but made me promise to come get him if I needed him.

I went back to bed and laid there. A couple minutes later he woke up and started crying. This time it was an hour of crying. Not screaming mind you, but babbling, whimpering, crying. Maybe worse than screaming. I got up once and put his binky in when he was at a low, and he stopped for a few minutes. That didn't last long, but eventually he fell asleep.

It was a really long night. Especially when he woke up at 5:30.

We decided that we would get his crib in the other room tonight. If we were going to get him to sleep through the night, it should be in his own room. So after I got home from work, we set about switching things around.

Then later...Dinner, play, bath, play, bottle. I was holding him and he was wide awake...no signs of sleeping. A and I were watching the gag reel on FRIENDS. I look down one minute eyes wide open, looking at his hands...next minute, eyes shut. CRAP. When I stood up, he opened his eyes, but then closed them as I started walking to his room. So I just laid him down, put binky in, and he hasn't moved yet. We'll see how this works tonight.

A and I went in and checked on him. We just stood there looking at him. I cried. It's been 6 months and I've had him close to me for all of those nights. I know this is good for us. I know it is. It's just a hard change. My boy is getting big right before my eyes. Oh yeah...and we can feel a tooth. It will most likely be here by morning.

Pray for us as we try to help our boy make this adjustment. Pray for a working mama, who might not be getting as much sleep as she needs. Pray for a Daddy who is doing such a wonderful job at supporting his crazy wife as she grasps at straws.

Summer Wedding.

2010-07-18T22:29:00.000-07:00

I love my family. It's been hard being so far away from them since Mason has been born. So I really love when we get the chance to get home to see family. And you know me. I can't be anywhere without taking pictures. Well, I have found out how hard it is to take as many pictures as I usually do now that Mason is here. And this trip was pretty difficult. With Arick being the best man and all, I didn't get as much.

But here are a few that I did get.

I really love my family. :)
Welcome Betsy! We loved the wedding and the party! It was a blast!

2010-07-07T22:52:00.000-07:00

Our First 4th of July!
I love my son.

I love baby kisses.

I love my little Family.
I love my husband.

I love baby smiles.
I love Holidays.
I also love that Arick humors me in taking pictures. :)

2010-06-29T21:38:00.000-07:00

I've gotten sick. I'm stuffy, runny, pluggy, achy, etc.

It's hard to enjoy my time with my boys when I want to sleep.
Sleep.
That's what I want.
That's what I'm going to go do.
:)

Father's Day

2010-06-21T22:40:00.000-07:00

Arick's First Father's Day

I love my boys.

There is nothing more important to me.
It was a small first Fathers Day, but it was great.

I'mmmmm Baaack.

2010-06-20T00:27:00.001-07:00

So I've decided to come back to this.

I have a new person in my life. He gives me another reason to take pictures.
Like I needed one.

It's late and I need to sleep when I can.

I'll be back this time.
I promise.

Flowering Tree

2009-04-27T22:02:00.000-07:00

We have this BEAUTIFUL tree in our front yard. I didn't get pictures of it last year, but got some this year. I love this time of year in Ellensburg. All the trees are flowering, the grass is getting greener, the tulips are blooming. It's sooo pretty here. So remember that everyone. If anyone wants to visit, April/May are great months to visit. :)

Painted Bedroom

2009-02-16T22:01:00.001-08:00

I had today off work for Presidents day and I took a vacation day off work tomorrow. I love hanging out with my husband. Today we finally got to painting our bedroom. WE LOVE IT!!

(sidenote: Window treatments temporary.)

It's a big change and we are super happy with it. We also got a new...but old...guest bed for the guest room. We are going to paint that room yellow soon. I have big plans for it. :) Pretty.

Gradyn

2009-01-16T15:19:00.000-08:00

My new nephew Gradyn Chase. Proud parents are Brandi and Uriah. :)

Family

2008-11-22T11:56:00.001-08:00

Wendy, her boyfriend Mike and her Kids Ty, Bri and Liz.

Cute huh?

It's Christmas Picture time!

Halloween!

2008-11-01T18:01:00.001-07:00

Well We had a good night last night.

Had a great group of kids over. Took lots of pictures. Here are some group ones.

After most of the kids left, we taught the twins and Nathan how to "Light Paint." That was a blast.

Happy November!

Me.

2008-10-25T14:48:00.000-07:00

I AM …a christian, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, and a woman.

I WANT… to be a mother.

I HAVE … too many pairs of shoes...according to my husband. :)

I KEEP…clothes that I might fit into again someday.

I WISH I COULD …keep a clean house...but who am I kidding?

I HATE …that I can't keep my fingernails painted.

I FEAR … losing the people that I hold close.

I HEAR … all the silly sounds my husband makes.

I DON’T THINK … I am as beautiful as my husband says I am.

I REGRET … cutting my hair a while back...now it's at that funky growing out stage. yuck.

I LOVE …looking through my camera lense.

I AM NOT … very quiet.

I DANCE … to my own music.

I BELIEVE … that our Lord is wonderful and has a plan for me.

I NEVER … say never.

I RARELY … run.

I CRY WHEN I WATCH … sappy movies. Yet I love them.

I AM NOT ALWAYS … nice.

I HATE THAT … I am always out of time to do the things I love.

I’M CONFUSED ABOUT … the layout of my house. Sometimes I love it...sometimes I don't.

I NEED … to save more money.

I SHOULD … go clean.

So you learned a little bit more about me today. There I am. :)

2008-10-20T16:32:00.001-07:00

Here they are. I know it took forever, but here they are.

I am caught up with editing now, so there will be a couple posts this week.

Be prepared.

Enjoy. It's a long one.

Family, Friends, Feet...My heart.

2008-09-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I can express how much this family means to Arick and I. Their friendship is the same no matter how long we are apart. They are such an encouragement to us, in faith, in love, in life, in parenthood. We love them. So much. They take pieces of our hearts each time we say goodbye. Two pieces to be exact. And one little girl and one little boy hold them in each hand. Jeff and Miranda. We will treasure the time we had together until we see each other again. We are praying for you and the babes everyday. We love you and already miss you. :) Oh and tell the kids we'll ichat soon. :)

This is just a teaser by the way.

I took their new family pics and there are ALOT.

Breakfast

2008-09-04T19:32:00.001-07:00

Who loves breakfast for dinner? :)

We do!

Yummy pancakes, eggs and sausage.

Pictures from Labor day weekend to come.

It's been a while..

2008-08-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

Sorry! Wow have I been busy. Work, Bonnie visiting here in Washington, Work, Church, yada-yada. Oh and we are sooo behind on the Olympics. We have a DVR and have been taping them and while I'm at work Arick doesn't want to watch them without me. He really is a sweet guy. :) Anyway, so we have been trying to catch up. Anyone else a huge Phelps Phan? hehe. I am! Anyway, so I will just post a mishmash of pictures. From the fourth of July, and my birthday and some other stuff. :) Enjoy!

The Girls minus Bonnie.

One Uncle's two dogs on the left SweetPea and Mearle. And another Uncle's dog Benji on the right. What you all can't see is behind me, my moms dog Rufus scarfed his down and was trying to eat the other dog's food. Oh and this is leftover egg casserole. And no the dogs don't usually eat off of glass plates. :)

Arick and Steven.

Bradley Skim Boarding.

On my birthday we took a drive then a hike up to a place called Lions Rock. It was amazing and beautiful and wonderful. It was a great birthday.

Mt. Stuart.

Mt. Rainier

2008-07-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

Just a couple pics from our 4th of July trip to California. I will finish editing them and get them up ASAP. I promise :)

My Nonnny. I love her.

The Beautiful Sunset!

Jenkins Family

2008-07-02T07:32:00.000-07:00

I had the honor of taking some family pictures of the Jenkins Family. Pat, the father, is an elder in our church and Vicki, his wife, does the minutes at the board meetings and is an amazing help with the Childrens ministry. Their son Chance, his wife Kelly, and their daughter Victoria, are moving to Japan in a few weeks. Kelly is in the AirForce and is going to be staitioned there. Their Daughter Carli and her husband Kevin live here in Ellensburg and are good friends of ours. It is going to be a tough transition for the Jenkins/Hill family as part of them move away. I'm very honored to have captured some moments in their goodbyes.

Nathan and Liz

2008-06-07T17:45:00.002-07:00

These are some great kids. Two of our College kids. Nathan and Elizabeth. Together for 9-10 months or so. :) We love them. Note that I took these in February. I know its June and I'm late, but here they are. Enjoy.

Bonnie

2008-06-05T14:19:00.000-07:00

My Bonnie is engaged. She is getting married. Wow.

More to come.

wedding

2008-05-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

So here was my first wedding. Rachel and I used to work together at the bank. She transfered to a different city and she and her fiance moved. She is a beautiful girl and I had a blast shooting her. I hope you enjoy the pictures!

I'm Here

2008-05-13T19:06:00.000-07:00

Well I guess I needed a page to do this. I'm learning and loving everything about photography. I am trying to get myself up and going. I just did my first wedding, and as soon as I'm done with the photos I will post them.

I have so many things to do and say.

I will get them up!

Stick with me. I hope it will be a fun ride.

Kacy Jo